You wanna talk about sex? --the Law of Chastity part 1

Ah the Law of Chastity . . . complex . . . . ambiguous . . . positively dangerous . . . very very controlling . . . and way too big to discuss in a single post. So today we will start here. A word of warning before viewing that video . . . it is pure ambiguous propaganda and more than a little creepy. It also echoes every standards night I ever went to. And I went to no less than 6.

Everyone back? did you get a glass of water to wash down the bad taste in your mouth? Maybe that's just me. I will admit the sexual dysfunctions instilled by the church have taken me many many hours of therapy to over come. And chances are they will take me many many more before I feel fully free of them. but this is where they began, as a teenager being told that I shouldn't even hold hands with a guy. No kissing, no "petting", no "necking", don't be alone with a boy. Don't date till you are sixteen and even then stay in groups and date only in public places.

"For the Strength of Youth" is a pamphlet young people--12 to 18--are give annually to help keep them on the straight and narrow path. It covers a myriad of topics from music and language to choosing friends, dating and sexual purity.

Ostensibly the goal is to raise youth who will be righteous and go on to serve missions and be wives and mothers, and raise righteous children.

In reality though it is isolating, serving to limit the circle of people you spend time with to mostly other LDS people. It's not even that the church teaches abstinence over safe sex. They teach something even higher. Don't do anything to engender the strong passions of sexuality.

The rules are so ambiguous. It's a bit like trying to keep someone from burning themselves on the stove top by never letting them in the kitchen at all.

Masturbation is a big no no. And the church disagrees with oral sex even between a husband and wife. So they do not teach safe smart sex. For a brief time to regulate my cycles, I was put on birth control. my mother was horrified. She was very upset by the thought that taking the pills would some how make  me think it would be ok to have sex. Like learning about being safe or smart would make me feel the need to rush out and become the school harlot.

The total repression of sexuality leads to married couples who often have no idea what they are doing. They don't have the experience to know what they want or need sexually. They avoid sources that could teach them. Sex is sacred so they don't talk about it much outside of the marriage. Sex is reproductive, so they have large families, often starting very very young. and if they should have difficulty conceiving they are in for pain and misery. Years of it.

This is the very broadest look at sexuality as taught in the mormon church. there are so many areas where the church controls this, often in subtle ways, that it will take a few posts to cover.

have any questions about it? Send them my way, in the comments, on twitter @mollynolonger or email me at askanexmormon@gmail.com